Monday, August 23, 2004

The dangers of sexual addiction...

(I am still developing my writing style with regards to social/political commentary so please bare with me)

After reading a weeks worth of headlines and articles concerning NJ Governor Jim McGreevey, two major topics are being focused on. The first major topic is Mr. McGreevey's 'coming out'as a gay man or "gay-American" as he put it.The second topic is wave bad politics, corruption and overall bad faith the governor has been part of since taking office (and in some cases before even taking office).

Regarding McGreevey's time in office:
Unfortunately some level of corruption and bad politics almost has to exist in today’s political climate. Special Interests Groups, Old-Boy networks and absolute greed go hand in hand with ribbon cutting, park building and civic development.

Of course what is most disturbing is the fact that Governor McGreevey was potentially taking huge risks for his constituents based purely on personal interest when he nominated Golan Cipel for New Jersey Homeland Security Director and subsequently handed him several other posts (paid for by the New Jersey tax-payer). Mr. Cipel is an Israeli national with absolute zero qualifications. Mr. Cipel would not be qualified to hold a Homeland Security Role for Mudlick, Kentucky let alone the State of New Jersey

The topic of Governor McGreevey's corrupt ways has been well covered. Nothing I could share would be anything different that what you have probably already read a thousand times on the subject. I also want to point out that while Governor McGreevey’s actions appear to be of the most scandalous variety he is beyond no means alone if the corrupt ways of our entire political system (the topic of holding politicians of for all political parties accountable will be saved for another entry).

Regarding Jim McGreevey’s sexuality:
I took most of what Governor McGreevey had to say about his troubled conscious and difficult time coming to terms with his own sexuality at face value. I can only imagine it to be a very difficult internal struggle in which the right support system both within his family and professional does not exist.

It is not hard for me to imagine that both Gov. McGreevey’s professional ambitions and political responsibilites left him little time to deal with this internal turmoil. Just like many Americans who put working overtime and pleasing the boss above working on a marriage or pleasing one’s spouse, Mr. McGreevey never gave himself the time or opportunity to bring order to his life. Though an argument can be made that Gov. McGreevey's struggle to come to terms with his own sexual identity could have distracted him greatly from his role as Governor, I tend to think that this in of itself was not any more of a distraction then other domestic and personal issues (such as Rudy Giulliani's battle with cancer and divorce from his wife).

The real problem as I see it was that Gov. McGreevey was the victim of sexual addiction.

The problem of sexual addiction:

A particular topic that has intrigued me from time to time has been the use of ‘sex’ as a tool for coercion, blackmail, as well as political and military espionage. Many recent examples exist. In modern times, one does not have to dig deep to learn that the Soviets gained more from JFK’s East German spy mistress, then they did from many of their top traditional spies.
Bill Clinton’s failure to control his own impulses led the Monica Lewinsky affair and resulted in his impeachment.
Newt Gingrich had his political career at least temporarily reduced when he had an adulterous affair with a lower-level Congressional employee.

With regards to Gov. McGreevey his failure to control his own sexual impulses (not to be confused with his failure to acknowledge his sexual identity) resulted in his failures as a husband to his loving wife and child, as well as his failure as a public servant to the citizens of New Jersey.
While confusion of his own sexual identity may be hurtful and confusing to Mrs. McGreevey, Gov. McGreeveys unfaithful acts are certainly more painful. Despite Mrs. McGreevey’s pleasant smile and supporting gestures during Gov. McGreevey’s resignation press conference, she is surely hurting, failing to understand why her husband would sacrifice the bond of their marriage.
In the same way but for different reasons the citizens of New Jersey are at a loss of words as to why Gov. McGreevey broke his public oath for sexual gratification. We have all been cheated on to some extent and in some context..

What is to be learned from all of this? :

While I cannot offer a true medical definition of the term sexual addiction I do offer some personal observance.
For the past few years I have recognized and observed the signs and dangers of sexual addiction. On a periodic basis I see how it destroys personal and professional lives.
As difficult as it is to imagine not much has changed through thousands of years of human civilization. The pleasures and dangers of sexual activity have been carefully observed for thousands of years.

Sexual addiction is not just about being the victim of ‘sexpionage’.
The mass consumption of porn (especially brought on by the internet) in which men and women mythological proportions and tolerances engage in sexual relations completely devoid of reality and consequence has led to the rise in failures of intimacy amongst couples. Depsite the lack of intimacy the sexual impulses do not go away. How one chooses to satisfy these impulses, whether in a constructive or destructive manner, is the heart of the matter.

The actions of Gov. McGreevey (as with many other sex addicts) can only be seen as destructive both personally and professionally.
Many of us believe the falacious argument that an individuals pesonal sexual conduct is of no concern to the citizenry and that the consequences of the individuals behavior both positive and negative, only personally effect that individual or groups of individuals. Gov. McGreevey's case is an example of this fallacy. The reality is that one's sexual behavior does have more far reaching implications on a social level (let alone with the very real health risks).

As I have grown older I have become no more religous nor self-righteous, at least to extent that it reflects on my social and political views. What I have come to appreciate is the wisdom in the laws, social dogma's and religous views in our society. There is a reason why our society was conducted on Judeo-Christian beliefs of sexual responsibility as well as judicial rules of sexual conduct. It is to protect ourselves from the reverting back to anotherprimal, instant gratifying species in the animal kingdom. Whether you think humankinds separation from animals was the divine work God or manipulative works of social constructionist or ability to reason, rationalize and direct our primal impulses is what has lead us to build stewardship amongst our kind and in return the ability to develop the civilizations we live in today.

I do not find defining the sexual responsbility of a society as the work of prude's, religious fanatics or opprssive patriarchs. Rather is is the very practical practice of not allowing a society to become so primal and self pleasing that it leads to societal decay (think Ancient Rome).

If asked to provide a definition I would say that Sexual Addicion the failure to keep sexual relations the constructive, healthy and yes ‘fun’ thing that it is suppose to be, and reducing into a purely at-all–costs self-gratifying action.
Despite the very real primal impulses in all of us, sex and sexual relations themselves must remain a force to be controlled so tha we may better guide our selves in developing more civilized better functioning societies.
Posted by mightymerk, 8:19 PM | link | (3) comments |

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Worst Pain In The World...

This is going to sound very "Larry King Like"...but toothaches are the absolute worst when it comes to pain (just think of that Larry King Raspy Voice that Norm MacDonald does)!! I have had broken bones, a broken nose, stiches all over my body and a bad lower back (at times). Nothing is worse then the steady pulse of a toothache (even non-cavity related pains)

I have an impacted wisdom tooth on my lower right jaw and it has been killing me for 4 days now. I tried to be stoic about it all and hoped the pain would go away but no luck. After sitting through three days of business meetings, in which I was uncharacteristically mostly silent its time to make an appointment with the oral surgeon. The pain is so bad and has spread so that I now have an ear ache...which would be the second most painful affliction known to man.

If my balls start swelling then I am ripping all of my teeth out.
Posted by mightymerk, 4:37 AM | link | (0) comments |

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Free Speech...only if you say what they want to hear.

The following is a true account...

As some of you know I frequent the web site of one Matthew Good. I first learned of Mr. Good a few years back when friend invited a few of us to see him in concert at The Saint in Asbury Park. I had previously been familiar with a few of the Matthew Good Bands songs that were being played on local radio.

It was one of the few times that I had seen The Saint absolutely packed and MGB put on quite a show. The music was tight and the singer Matthew Good, was right on. I noticed how passionate he was with his music, which reminded me of a close friend (Christian).

It wasn't until months later that I discovered that Matthew Good had this political voice. I am pretty much a staunch conservative, though I am thankful to have friends and family of various persuasions (politically and otherwise). Although I am certainly not an academic when it comes to topics like History, GeoPolitics etc. I do consider myself fairly well read. What I couldn't help notice was that any serious debate on Matt's site, including any critique of Matt or his "band of heroes" like Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky etc. was met with immediate aggression. This was true despite the on again off again stance that Matt would take about "never personally" posting on his message boards.

Without getting into every detail (boring, exciting or otherwise) I noticed a pathology to Matt's behavior. In addition to spam and vulgar posts that Matt surely receives from the base of internet trash that circulate the world wide web, Matt was also rather fond of deleting posts, even entire threads in which civil, constructive debate took place, but may also have made his heroes or himself look rather foolish. Matt was an equally opportunity offender though, quickly removing several of his posts in which he sounded completely irrational or came across the least bit intolerant.

Well one day, despite all of my postings, comments and suggestions being completely civil Matt blocked my IP. Actually this was after several email's in which he threatened to take the whole board down and "ruin it for everyone else" if I did not stop posting. I continued to post, and then Matt got swift and learned to block my IP. While it is certainly technically possible for me to mask my IP and continue to post even under another alias, I won't.

Please do not take this Blog entry as a call to arms to spam Matt's site, send him hatemail, or even thoughtful letters to tell Matt he has it all's not worth it and I would be very disappointed. Rather, I encourage you who may not already be familiar with his site to visit. I can tell you first hand there are a lot of cool Matt Good fans out there...with strong opinions and stubborn as all hell...which is great. Even better is that many have blogs on their own in which civil debate is allowed and things rarely get personal.

Matt's actions are unexplainable. At times he criticized me for not having sources with my posts. When I provided sources he accused me of promoting other people's products and my own agenda!?! I am still confused by that one. Does Matt take this course of action because his buddies at AI or the eco-terrorist outfits rag on him for not controlling his minions? Or is it just a fragile ego? Can he not accept the fact that he is not, at least yet, John Lennon reincarnate?

I can only attest to the fact that I welcomed all debate, was never vulgar, and made some really decent relationships with some fellow fans. So I am gone, but Matthew Good's hypocrisy will not be forgotten.

Posted by mightymerk, 5:02 AM | link | (0) comments |

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Call to Arms...Hands and Fingers!

Like so many others...I have recently caught on to the whole Blog thing. I think it is rather neat.
I have speant the past 2 years adding my two cents to various other blogs offered by individuals ranging from celebrities, musicians, political journalist and just other 'dudes'.

With that said I have decided to create this Blog. As you probably already know I am fairly opinionated on just about every subject available (sans Nascar which I know nothing about). I never shy away from a debate whether it is at the office cafeteria, coffee shop or dinner table.

I am fortunate enough to have a well rounded group of friends, many of whom often disagree with me.

I hope to make a post at least once per week.

Posted by mightymerk, 5:55 AM | link | (0) comments |